iHave a Cow
by baronvonmilo
Summary: What happens when Spencer gets a bull in payment for a sculptor and Gibby becomes his partner?


Greeting all here is another installment in the Gibby's day out series. I hope you enjoy it.

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**I do not own iCarly or any of it's charaters**. Because if I did it would still be on the air!

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Spencer sat at his kitchen table despairingly looking at ever increasing pile of bills. He ran his fingers through his hair.

"How do I get myself in these kinds of messes" he wondered.

It seemed just a few weeks ago things were going great. His sculptures were selling faster than he could create them. Carly had left to go live with their dad in Italy which meant he no longer had to watch after her, which in turn left him more time to devote to his art. With Carly gone her friends had gone their separate ways, Sam moved to L.A Freddie had graduated early and had left to go to MIT. Even Gibby had gotten a job working for his dad's company (see iGo out on the town).

Without the kids around he found it was so much easier to stay focused on his work. He had converted the iCarly studio into his workshop. Things had really started to pop for him until IT happened. What IT was, was J Allen Meatmann owner of the largest delicatessen chain on the west coast. Mr. Meatmann had commissioned Spencer to make him a sculptor that would be the logo of his company.

Spencer had out done himself and the sculptor he created greatly pleased Mr. Meatmann.

Now Spencer was a great artist, but not so much as a businessman. When it came time to collect his money Meatmann made him an offer he should have refused.

"You see son all my liquid assets are tied up in the company" he told Spencer "I know I promised you 20,000 dollars but my money is tied up at the moment."

Spencer's heart just dropped it wasn't so much the money, but the exposure he was going to get out of the job.

Spencer asked him "Does this mean you don't want the sculptor?"

Meatmann replied " I definitely want it. When I look at it my eyes are filled with tears of joy. I just can't come up with the money. Now I am a man of my word so I want to work out a trade."

"What kind of trade" Spencer asked?

"Well let me tell you boy, I will trade you my mascot Brutus the Bull and a year's supply of meat for what I owe you for the sculptor."

"What would I do with a bull?"

" Let me tell you son, Brutus is no ordinary bull, he's a prize winner, a grand champion. Ranchers all over the country are just begging for the chance to buy him."

Spencer asked him " If he is so valuable why don't you just sell him and pay me?"

"Son, you just don't' understand how it works. I got a list as long as my arm with people who want to buy him. So the fairest and most profitable way to do that is at a livestock auction. In two months there is going to be a huge sale of the best livestock in the country at the Cow Palace in San Francisco. Buyers from all over the world will be there. I will guarantee you no less than 50,000 dollars. Why Brutus brother Dolcorsllwyn Fabio just sold for 126,000 pound in the U.K (this really happened).

That's all it took. Spencer saw dollar signs. They shook hand on it and Spencer became the proud owner of a bull.

What Spencer did not take into consideration was how much it cost to house, feed and maintain a bull. in a few short weeks he has spent every last dime he had on the bull. It was a good thing he got a year's supply of meat or he would of starved (which also would of happened if Sam was still around.) He had to move the bull from the farm it was living at to the basement of the Bushwell Plaza. Even than it was still eating him out of house and home.

Spencer was going through the bills. Just three weeks he thought all I need is three week than I will be rid of that walking pile of burger forever.

His lights had been shut off, the rent was overdue and if he hadn't agreed to take Lewbert's sister out he would have been evicted.

Then his cell phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and it was Gibby. Spencer thought for a moment then answered it.

"Wazz up Spence? Your old buddy Gibby here."

"Hey Gib what ya need?'

"I need you to come out on the town with me, I just got a 5,000 bonus and I need someone to help me blow it."

The light went on in Spencer's head.

" You just got 5,000 dollars and you just want to spend it? Have you ever thought of investing it?

Gibby replied " Now why would I want to do that? I am terrible at those kind of things, I just lost a butt load of money investing in the hamster turbines."

"Listen to me Gib I have got a sure fire investment for you it will at least double your money in three weeks!"

Gibby thought it over " So you're telling me if I give you 5,000 dollars in three weeks it will double? If I did the math right I could make a thousand dollars wow what is this gold mine?"

" I have a prize bull and I need some cash to cover expenses. I am going to sell it in three weeks at a auction. The bulls brother just sold for 126,000 pounds."

"Pounds of what" Gibby asked?

"English pounds"

"What do the English pound"

"No Gibby the pound is their money"

"Why do they pound their money? Are they mad at it?"

"Listen….the pound is what they call their money we call ours the dollar THEY CALL THEIR UNIT OF CURRENCY THE POUND."

"Is that anything like a dog pound? Are you saying they beat their dogs, cuz if they do I want no part of this."

"Gibby Gibby Gibby Gibby just listen the pound is their money."

" OH I think I got it instead of money they just hit you to pay for something, and people think I'm weird. I tell you Spence I don't want no Englishman coming over and hitting me because he owes me money."

"OK….let me explain this a different way. You would make enough money to have the cast from Galaxy Wars come to your next birthday party."

"No one will hit me or my dog or the cast from Galaxy Wars:?"

"NO"

"Well than count me in I will bring the money right over"

Spencer heard a noise at the door. He went over to investigate and saw an envelope slid under the door. When he opened it had fifty one hundred dollar bills in it. He yanked the door open and there was Gibby on the other side.

"How long have you been here" Spencer asked?

"Ever since I called you"

"Why didn't you just knock?"

" I wanted to make sure you were home."

"Why didn't you call from the car?"

"Geez Spencer don't you know anything, if you were home than I would have to walk all the way up here to see you. So you see you were home and it saved me the trip of walking up here."

Spencer just looked at him with stunned silence. He shook his head to clear it than asked Gibby "would you like to see the bull?"

Spencer and Gibby went down to the storage units to see the bull.

After carefully examining it Gibby had a question. "So how much milk does this thing give a day?'

"Gibby it's a bull."

Gibby looked at him with a puzzled look. "So?"

"So if you ask me another question like that I am going to pretend I am English and pound you."

"Ok man I'm cool, but is a bull suppose to have crossed eyes?"

Spencer ran around to look at the bulls eye. "Fudge cakes" he exclaimed

"What's wrong" asked Gibby?

"Everything who will by a bull with cross-eyes! We need to get a vet."

Spencer franticly started making calls. After three hours he found a vet who would make an afterhours call.

The vet came over and examined the Bull.

" I can tell you what's wrong, it is under a lot of stress from its living conditions. It is not a pet it needs to be on a farm not cooped up in a storage locker."

"Is there anything you can do? I plan on taking the bull to auction in three weeks."

The vet scratch his chin " Well there is one thing, it's an old trick I learned from my Grandpa."

He opened his bag and took a rubber garden hose out about four foot long. He stuck it up the bulls rear end and blew. After a couple of minutes the bulls eyes uncrossed.

"There you go said the vet that should hold him till you get him to auction. If it happens again just call. Oh…..by the way…it will be 500 dollars for the call."

Spencer looked at Gibby with his big puppy dog eyes. Gibby took out his wallet and paid the vet.

Gibby muttered under his breath "there is never an Englishman around when you need one."

The big day was here Spencer had a truck ready to take the Bull away. When they went to get him to their shock the bulls eyes had crossed again.

"Call the vet" Gibby told Spencer "We can't send the bull to market like that."

"No way" Spencer replied "I saw what he did the last time, go get me some hose and we will fix it."

Gibby retrieved some hose and gave it to Spencer.

Spencer inserted the hose in the bulls rear end and started to blow.

After blowing for about 15 minutes he asked if it helped.

Gibby looked at the bull and said "nope."

"Well you get back here and blow I am out of breath"

Gibby went back and pulled the hose out turned it around and stuck it back in.

"Why did you do that" Spencer asked?

"You don't expect me to blow on the same end you did" Gibby replied."

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**A/N: **Now that is why you should not go into business with friends. In case you are wondering they did get the bull fixed and took it to market and made a butt load of money on it, and that's no bull.

The next installment of iFind LUV will be out in a couple of weeks.

Thanks for reading,

The Baron


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